Entry #2

Anxiety is going to be the end of me. Every time I speak on a zoom call, my stomach gets butterflies, I squirm, I stutter, and I splutter. 

I’ve never been a great presenter, but over the past 2 years, I’ve improved. These couple months in isolation out set me back a little though. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to talk to people or be social. 

Being on a call with 250 people doesn’t help either I suppose. It’s hard to know when the right time to ask a question or speak up is. And when you mess up, it’s worse than bad as messing up in person because on zoom you can see every single face go from :/ to :O... I hate that ahhhhhhhhh!

Clearly this will be the new normal for the foreseeable future though, and I need to adapt. I’m practicing talking in front a mirror (with lots of cringing) and in front of my brother (ruthless critiquer honestly). I wonder how it will feel to present in person again, and this experience will help me enjoy presenting IRL.

Entry #1

The world is in limbo, and I feel like I’ve just been drifting through time these past few months.

There are not a lot of opportunities for a recently graduated creative at this point in time, but I think MAIP is helping in that they are giving me an idea of what I should be doing. And so I’ve reached out to my MAIP coach to help me as well.

I’ve decided I should make use of this free time caused by unemployment and reach out to people I admire. I really hate writing cold emails, but maybe this will develop my skill in that area. I’m usually so introverted and I dislike networking. But I do want to talk to these designers and art directors I admire, so here goes nothing.

One thing I want to avoid is making relationships transactional. I really don’t want someone to feel like they owe me something because I did something for them & vice versa. Networking has always seemed so transactional, and I really want to instead make real relationships with my heroes.